Former Secretary for International Diplomacy, Boris Johnson, has sensationally been arrested by the Anti-Terrorism Squad for conspiracy to carry out an act of terrorism.
Head of Media Exploitation Terry Watt explains:
Our counter-intelligence department have had Mr Johnson under surveillance ever since his dramatic rescue from Afghanistan. Not a lot of people know this, but Boris had been part of a crack team tasked with a search and destroy mission against terrorist insurgents in Afghanistan.
Boris was captured by ISIS, and evidence led us to believe that he was dead. However, after five years in captivity, he was liberated, and repatriated to the UK.
Due to the peculiar behaviour displayed by Boris after his repatriation, we began to suspect that he had actually been turned by ISIS, and now represented a genuine terrorist threat to our nation.
This suspicion was validated when Boris was discovered at Theresa May's weekend barbecue, wearing a fake suicide bomb vest, purchased from a well-known online retailer.
Boris was apprehended by anti-terror agents, and has been taken to a secure location to be waterboarded, and brainwashed into becoming a harmless media buffoon hosting comedy chat shows.