Earlier this month, grown-ups across the UK breathed a sigh of relief as the nation's politicians went back to school. However, in a shocking twist, that relief has proven to be short lived!
Speaking to a hushed gathering of the world's media, the Commons Head Of Political Persons Education and Respect, Terry Watt, explained:
Worrying news has emerged from Toffs Preparatory High School for Young Ladies, where Theresa May has been sent back to Westminster because her skirt was 'too short and clingy', and at the same school, Jeremy Hunt has been cautioned by police after selling crystal meth in the sixth form common rooms.
Meanwhile, at Great Greyhope Comprehensive School, Jeremy Corbyn has been excluded after pushing over a minority Tory kid in the dinner queue.
There is serious concern that if more MPs are sent home from school, they could inflict yet another term of Brexit bullshit on the rest of us.
Families are advised to stay close to their loved ones during this difficult time.